265: You're Not Asking for Too Much. You're Asking for Too Little | with Dia Bondi
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You're not being lowballed. You're doing it to yourself — before the conversation even starts.
In this episode of She Thinks Big, I sat down with Dia Bondi — 20-year leadership communications coach, author of Ask Like an Auctioneer, and the woman who helped Rio de Janeiro win the right to host the 2016 Olympics. She's on a mission to help one million women ask for more and get it. This conversation is part of that mission.
We get into: The ZOFO (Zone of Freaking Out) — what it is and why it means you're doing it right. Why you can't shop from your own wallet when you're pricing your work. Set Your Reserve: your most important move before any negotiation starts. Why price is a measure of value — not a verdict on your worth. How to find the offer inside every ask? What to do when you get a no? The intense feeling you get before the big ask?
That's not a stop sign. That's the entrance.
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📌 Chapters:
00:00 — Why Women Need to Ask for More
01:39 — Meet Dia Bondi: From Communications Coach to Olympic Bid Advisor
2:19 — The Through Line: Adventure and Deep Connection
4:58 — The Story Behind ‘Ask Like an Auctioneer
6:50 — The ‘Zone of Freaking Out’ (ZOFO)
7:42 — How to Talk Back to Your Inner Voice
9:28 — People Are Irrational
10:45 — The $55,000 Camping Trip Story
13:22 — Concept #1: Set Your Reserve
19:51 — Concept #2: Price Is a Measure of Value, Not Worth
25:46 — Concept #3- Find the Offer Inside the Ask
29:24 — What to Do When You Hear ‘No’
32:17 — The Platform Map: Your Leadership Voice Framework
33:46 — The Four Parts of a Platform Map
43:06 —The Shin Guard Principle
48:26 — It’s Ok If It’s A Little Messy
50:50 — Final Takeaways: Step Into Your Zone of Freaking Out
Read the Summary
Introduction
The transition from a leadership communications coach to an Olympic bid advisor and auctioneer might seem random, but for Dia Bondi, it’s all connected by a desire for adventure and deep connection.
In this episode of She Thinks Big, Dia shares how her experience on the auction stage provides a powerful framework for women to stop aiming low and start asking for more.
The Through Line: Adventure and Connection
Dia’s career journey—from coaching world leaders at the UN to helping Rio de Janeiro win the 2016 Olympic bid—is driven by two core values:
The chase for adventure.
The pursuit of deeply connected experiences.
These drivers underpin how she shows up in her work and the opportunities she attracts. Even when she isn't explicitly "asking" for a gig, her reputation for creating impact through connection brings the big projects to her.
Understanding the "Zone of Freaking Out" (ZOFO)
When Dia was asked to go to Rio for the Olympics, she had a one-year-old. She realized she could only say yes if the committee rented her an apartment and provided childcare. Making that ask felt impossible; she was in the ZOFO (Zone of Freaking Out).
Key Reframe: The ZOFO is that physiological space where an ask feels so big it makes you want to throw up. Dia’s advice isn't to silence the inner voice telling you it's "scary," but to stay in conversation with it. Acknowledge the fear, thank it for trying to protect you, and then make the ask anyway.
Three Core Concepts from Ask Like an Auctioneer
1. Set Your Reserve
In auctioneering, the reserve is the minimum price a seller will accept. In your career or business, your reserve is your "walk-away" point. It might be a dollar amount, but it could also be a boundary around your time, your values, or a specific deliverable.
Why it matters: Knowing your reserve ahead of time creates safety. When adrenaline pumps during a negotiation, you’ve already done the hard thinking.
2. Price is a Measure of Value, Not Worth
This is a critical distinction. Your worthiness is infinite and innate; it doesn't change based on a paycheck. Price is simply a data point reflecting what a specific person in a specific room values at a specific moment.
The Lesson: If someone says "no" to your price, they aren't rejecting you. Stay out of their wallet—don't decide for them what they can afford.
3. Find the Offer Inside the Ask
Every ask should contain an "offer." Beyond the tactical results, what is the person actually getting? Are they joining a collective act of generosity? Are they becoming a "collector" for the first time? By identifying the underlying drivers, you can frame your ask as a gift exchange.
The Platform Map: Your Leadership Voice
Purpose: The role you play in a room (e.g., "The Earthquake" who shifts perspectives).
Providence: Your origin story—the "why" behind your drive, not just your resume.
POV & Playbook: Your unique philosophy on your industry and how you cause transformation.
Principles: Your values in action (e.g., the "Shin Guard Principle" of being scrappy by using tools in unintended ways).
Final Takeaway: It’s Okay to be Messy
Many women wait until they feel "ready" or "calm" to ask for more. Dia argues that asking for something meaningful should feel messy. If the ask has the potential to change your life, it’s going to come with "all the feels."
Your Next Step: Think of one ask you’ve been avoiding. Define your reserve, identify the offer, and step into your ZOFO.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
Book: Ask Like an Auctioneer by Dia Bondi
Website: DiaBondi.com
Connect with Andrea: AndreaLiebross.com
